i think i gonna stop here for a while~ i want to give 'fool' attention to my studies, in addition to that, theres no internet in amanah. spare me~
[inferior_complexee]
10.7.05
anger management...
if you it happens that you are very² angry, try to listen to songs using headphone in full volume. it works wonder. you will forget everything and be engulfed in the force. yesterday when i listened to Nymphetamine by Cradle of Filth and Before I Forget by Slipknot using wan's philips headphone, i felt this surge of adrenalyne flowing in my veins, nothing else, just anger and me, banging with all my might, i felt satisfied. (not THAT kind of satisfaction you stupid!) So i listened and banged and sang for almost two hours, i stopped after my neck started to break. calmed down a lil'. need to punch someone in the face no more. tq music.
Cradle of Filth - Nymphetamine
Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A V of black swans
On with hope to the grave
And through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones
Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain...
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The rights slot for your sacred key...
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better...
Nymphetamine
Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More with lady laid
Than pillars of salt...
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)
Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days
Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the bind of your lowliness
I could always find
The rights slot for your sacred key...
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better...
Nymphetamine
the song that helped me to calm down. why don't you give it a try? try to listen to the song.
Cradle of Filth - Nymphetamine
Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A V of black swans
On with hope to the grave
And through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones
Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain...
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The rights slot for your sacred key...
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better...
Nymphetamine
Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More with lady laid
Than pillars of salt...
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)
Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days
Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the bind of your lowliness
I could always find
The rights slot for your sacred key...
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission
None better...
Nymphetamine
the song that helped me to calm down. why don't you give it a try? try to listen to the song.
9.7.05
The Jet - Hold On
You tried so hard to be someone
That you forgot who you are
You tried to fill some emptiness
‘Til all you had spilled over
Now everything’s so far away
That you don’t know where you are, you are
When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
For you to belong to
When it’s hard to be yourself
It’s not to be someone else
Still everything’s so far away
That you forget where you are, you are
When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
Hold on
When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
For you to belong to
That you forgot who you are
You tried to fill some emptiness
‘Til all you had spilled over
Now everything’s so far away
That you don’t know where you are, you are
When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
For you to belong to
When it’s hard to be yourself
It’s not to be someone else
Still everything’s so far away
That you forget where you are, you are
When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
Hold on
When all that you wanted
And all that you had
Don’t seem so much
For you to hold on to
For you to belong to
about F.U.C.K.
F.U.C.K. (friends you can keep) are not easy to find these days.
for me, i don't care if they are 'keep'able or not, they are my friends. friends are human, and human are weird, thus, friends are weird too, the same goes to the act of befriending, that is friendship. someone you was so friendly to now can be someone you despise then, someone you hate can be someone you trust, someone you knew can be someone you don't or maybe you just don't really know someone you know.
i don't know if it happens that i die, how many of my friends will bother to read the testimony of faith for me, i don't even know if they care. and i know my family will be the people who will stand there by me if anything happens. but, i like to hang out with friends more rather than to hang out with my family. my friends know the real me, not the fake plastic me at home who must show good example to his siblings, who must be the responsible eldest son in the family, when i'm with my friends, i am me, the real me, i felt easy being so.
friends do influence our life, how we behave, study and etc. i don't know if i chose the right friends or not, i put my trust in them, to walk with me together against any thing that stands in our way.
for me, i don't care if they are 'keep'able or not, they are my friends. friends are human, and human are weird, thus, friends are weird too, the same goes to the act of befriending, that is friendship. someone you was so friendly to now can be someone you despise then, someone you hate can be someone you trust, someone you knew can be someone you don't or maybe you just don't really know someone you know.
i don't know if it happens that i die, how many of my friends will bother to read the testimony of faith for me, i don't even know if they care. and i know my family will be the people who will stand there by me if anything happens. but, i like to hang out with friends more rather than to hang out with my family. my friends know the real me, not the fake plastic me at home who must show good example to his siblings, who must be the responsible eldest son in the family, when i'm with my friends, i am me, the real me, i felt easy being so.
friends do influence our life, how we behave, study and etc. i don't know if i chose the right friends or not, i put my trust in them, to walk with me together against any thing that stands in our way.
5.7.05
Stonesour - Monolith
Is this wrong of me? I’ve come so far, so fast
I’m in the dark about a lot of things
Seems so real - to me!
I’ve consecrated!
I wish that I could hate it
I saw my bloody hands come clean before my eyes!
And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, someone stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within
Visions plague my dreams - oh god, what beast did this?
I couldn’t have oh god, I just don’t know
What’s inside - of me?
I’ve desecrated!
My god, I love to hate it!
My hands are bloody again, there’s no reason why!
And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, someone stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within
And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, can you stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within
Within!
going back to Uniten, won't be updating as often anymore. study! this sem's target, 3.50. lol. pray for me okay?
I’m in the dark about a lot of things
Seems so real - to me!
I’ve consecrated!
I wish that I could hate it
I saw my bloody hands come clean before my eyes!
And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, someone stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within
Visions plague my dreams - oh god, what beast did this?
I couldn’t have oh god, I just don’t know
What’s inside - of me?
I’ve desecrated!
My god, I love to hate it!
My hands are bloody again, there’s no reason why!
And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, someone stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within
And I hear my wants and needs again, can you help me?
And I hear a different kind again, can you stop me
And I feel the strain inside my mind, am I crazy?
And I need to shed my skin, reveal this monolith within
Within!
going back to Uniten, won't be updating as often anymore. study! this sem's target, 3.50. lol. pray for me okay?
3.7.05
art anyone?
these are the artworks of a soon-to-be famous artist, Huda. the artworks are very delicate, only few people knows what it mean, actually, three people to be exact.
the first masterpiece is a fictional event, where three persons went out together happily. the first person on the left was drawn by the author himself. even the author's artwork looks like childrens drawing compared to Huda's. Huda and the author uses crayons to give the masterpiece a look of real life.
the second masterpiece is a real life event that took place somewhere only we know. this masterpiece is very² valuable as the masterpiece is created by Huda on her own, and directed by the author. this artwork's background is coloured according to the original event.
anyone who want's to buy the masterpieces can do so by bidding in the comments section~
sincerely,
picasscho~
the first masterpiece is a fictional event, where three persons went out together happily. the first person on the left was drawn by the author himself. even the author's artwork looks like childrens drawing compared to Huda's. Huda and the author uses crayons to give the masterpiece a look of real life.
the second masterpiece is a real life event that took place somewhere only we know. this masterpiece is very² valuable as the masterpiece is created by Huda on her own, and directed by the author. this artwork's background is coloured according to the original event.
anyone who want's to buy the masterpieces can do so by bidding in the comments section~
sincerely,
picasscho~
1.7.05
ho ho ho~
tomorrow i'm going out~
i'm happy~ yeeeeaaay!
i'll be going to mid wif hunny after such a long time~
couldn't even remember the last time we went to mid together~
ho ho ho~
i'm happy really, i got cold no more, things just keep getting better and better~
really in my diVULna mode! mmmmm.... erm... u know who you are!
i'm happy~ yeeeeaaay!
i'll be going to mid wif hunny after such a long time~
couldn't even remember the last time we went to mid together~
ho ho ho~
i'm happy really, i got cold no more, things just keep getting better and better~
really in my diVULna mode! mmmmm.... erm... u know who you are!
Langgan:
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