hellacious heaven or heavenly hell?

can you imagine how boring it is for a frog to be trapped in a well for about three months? i can. in fact, i am experiencing something even worse, trapped in my very own house, living with this being called 'parent' ordering you what to do with your life, forcing you to not to socialise. "stay in your cage, don't do anything, it's not good to get out of your cage, i don't want you to be influenced by nothing, you might even catch cold. yada yada yada yada" ***k! i hate it! verily...and i've only just been through the holiday for 2 weeks, another fuckin ice cold 2 months and a half left for them continue to scrutinize me. it was just only 15% of the 2184 hours, and i almost died out of an extravagant boredom.

i hate being ordered to do things. i hate being told to sit stay (like a dog) at home every night. it's not like i'm going clubbin, taking drugs, going to rape sumbody, going to steal or rob or anything if i go out. i'm just going for a couple of drinks with my friends. and it's not like i'm going to drink alcohols, just a couple of teh tarik or teh 'o' ais or milo ais would be enough, and ameer ali is so very near, it's just a 2 minutes drive from my home. so WhyTF am i not allowed to leave this depressing cage for just about an hour to relieve my depressed mind. why? afraid of reputation with neighbours? fuck them! who cares. their children played football in front of our house and smashed those number sign. they don't even care to come apologize. so WTF? what? what else? it's not good to go out at night? why? why was it not good? because it's not good to go out at night? it's not good to go out at night because it's not good to go out at night? bullshit. just pure bullshit. why? why? is it because it shows that i'm going out only for the sake of entertainment (which appeared to be absent at home), and that i don't like staying home? that is so fuckin true, can you imagine sitting alone thinking of how to spend these time alone? i'm not doing anything wrong here, so why? tell me why... this is the only time when i'm matured enough to take care of myself, and not having too many responsibilities like the grown-ups. i don't want to waste these magnificent time staying home thinking of what the fuck am i gonna do now to fill this empty hole. i dun wanna be a sorry ass when i'm all grown up.

i know it's kinda pathetic to just write all these stuffs here. "why don't you tell her instead" you said? i tried, and being the being she always is, she doesn't show any significant changes, except becoming more and more and more louder in her war against my so called night-out terrorism.

but this is the thing, 18 years ago, she carried me around for a whole 9 months and ten days. i've to really respect her for that. so no matter how very right i am and no matter how very wrong she is. i've to stay home, being a caged pet. wooff woofff!

from,
[barkingdogseldomsbite]