you don't need to bother

Wish I was too dead to cry,
Self affliction fades,
Masochists to which I cater,
You don't need to bother,
I don't need to be,
I'll keep slipping farther,
But once I hold on,
I won't let go till it bleeds...

Wish I was too dead to care,
If indeed I cared at all,
Never had a voice to protest,
So you fed me shit to digest,
I wish I had a reason,
my flaws are open season,
For this I gave up trying,
One good turn deserves my dying...

Wish I'd died instead of lived,
The zombie hides my face,
Self forgotten,
with its memories,
Diaries left,
with cryptic entries...